2012..

For the past year, we have believed that our DTE aka our Dossier To Ethiopia date was October 15, 2010..
Why?
Well because we had an email from our social worker stating that was our date. So that has been our focus and believing that was our "spot" on "the wait list" on our agency's online discussion forum was how we came to the conclusion that we were somewhere between #1 & #3 on the list to receive a Referral next.......

And that was when we last updated you.. with the belief that our day could be any moment, any hour, any day.. I spent an entire week with my phone in my pocket on vibrate, even during appointments at work, thinking it could be any second and I would have to make the exception to have my phone during a client's time just this one time.. 
Every hour I was excited, nervous, frantic, thrilled, anxious, in awe....  could this be the hour??

That was a week and a half ago..

Last Monday, when our social worker was back in her office and I spoke with her briefly, she agreed that our time was definitely soon.. she said that she had no information or emails from the country coordinator or corporate office regarding our case but she would email to see if there was any "pending information"..
I wasn't sure what that meant but I'll take any information I can get!
Later that day, she forwarded an email from the country coordinator that stated and I am quoting, that they "generally do not have updates on cases after they have been registered, authenticated, and translated.. (I have that we heard this was done on 11/15/2010)" 

Ummmm...
In case you missed that, I'll retype it..
that was 11/15/2010..
So after emailing my social worker asking what the heck? Isn't our DTE 10/15/2010??
It turns out "no"..
Boo.
There was some sort of " miscommunication" in last year's email and we are in fact not going to be at our referral time until probably after the first of the year  :(
 January, February 2012..

Trust me, I had my pity party last week and I'm still a little wonky about the disappointment but it is what it is.. and all of the boohoo-ing in the world isn't going to change our standing or our date.

So here we are..
Still waiting for Violet.. clearly she just isn't ready for us and vice versa perhaps..
We will get to her..
just not yet..

One cool thing to think about is that now we know for a fact that she and Stuart's mom were together at one time.. if we received our referral now, then they might possibly have never met but now we know that they at least had a moment together up there..
and that is so special to us and worth waiting just a few more months for :)


So anywho, that's where we are..

Please keep your Violet Ribbon pics coming!! They are an unbelievable encouragement and joy to us, especially in light of our continued wait..
We love and appreciate you all!

Violet Ribbon on the move.. from Paris to Denver!

Denver, Colorado.. Jeff and Margaret! :)

Thanks so much, guys!!! Love it!!

The Violet Ribbon in Paris!

Paris, France.. Auntie Gwyn! :)

Amaaaaaazing!

Auntie Gwyn & Uncle Robert, you are incredible... I am filled with overwhelming happiness to see these beautiful moments captured for our Violet. Thank you! I love you!

Violet Germany :)

@ The Orangerie, Hannover, Germany.. Auntie Gwyn! :)

The Grounds of The Orangerie in Hannover, Germany..

Hannover, Germany @ The Orangerie.. Auntie Gwyn! :)

The Violet Ribbon across Germany!!

@ Check Point Charlie, Berlin, Germany.. Auntie Gwyn and Uncle Robert! :)

@ the Berlin Wall, Berlin, Germany.. Auntie Gwyn and Uncle Robert! :)

@ Train Station, Berlin, Germany.. Auntie Gwyn and a "Berlinder" pastry  :)

@ Cologne Cathedral, Cologne, Germany.. Auntie Gwyn and Uncle Robert! :)

Thank you to my awesome little sis and her fab hubby for thinking of our sweet Violet while on their vacation abroad!!!!!
oxoxoxo 

Hawaiian Ribbon!!

Maui, Hawaii.. Geoff and Stacie!! :)

So cool! Thanks, guys!!!

Butterflies..

Any day now will be the day that changes me forever..
the day I will become a mom.
 Funny how even after 33 months of this process and more years than that of wanting and waiting.. and yet I'm still somehow nervous of that moment and responsibility!
Its HUGE.. without even getting into the enormity of being a parent, just the moment of Referral in and of itself is huge!
To wait so long, dreaming of this moment... waiting to see that face for the first time.. Ah, bliss :)

I envision the referral moment as being like a birth for us. We've been in labor for over 800 days! And we're finally going to see our baby that we've been praying for, pining for, waiting for, wishing for, hoping for, dreaming about, planning our lives around, moving universes for, thanking God for.. she will finally be ours.. soon.

So as we wait, just a little bit longer.. and its become evident that the moment is coming really, really soon.
It could very well be in the next week! (Praying!!!)
Now I'm feeling a giddiness and almost anxious high that I can't explain...
its like a mixture between the day before school nerves and Christmas Eve excitement!
Like the night before vacation when you can't fall asleep because you're just... happy.
Like the morning of your wedding when you are equally jittery and giddy.. filled with a swarm of butterflies.

I am trying to enjoy even this moment and not wish it away..
I know that this too shall pass and I want to absorb it fully and document my heart as best as I can so that Violet will know how we waited for her...



Speaking of...
my sister, Dawanna, made an extraordinary necklace for me as a token of my wait for Violet. I asked for a locket with a quote.. It was more difficult than you would think to choose a verse or statement that describes your heart and soul for this situation...
I didn't want to pick the expected, albeit lovely, Biblical verse: For this child I have waited..
I found plenty of great but super long ones.. Dawanna told me my locket would have to be the size of a dinner plate to fit them! So, clearly, I had to choose otherwise ;)

After much reading and searching, I finally found it..
a beautiful quote from the East Indian poet, Rumi...
And so the locket says:

"From the beginning of my life, I have been looking for your face"

No truer words have ever been spoken..
and indeed I am still looking for it.
Until that referral call and email when I can finally see my Violet's sweet face  :)
Ah, bliss!

Soon.. maybe tomorrow??????

Violet's Ribbon..

Nashville, Tennessee.. Stu and Sum aka future Dad and Mom :) :) :)

Waiting for the phone to ring...

Yep this is pretty much it~

Mondays have a whole new level of anticipation and anxiety now that we are so close to a referral!

The only day for referral news is Monday.. 

so this could be our day!! 

The morning is still young :)

Come on, email and phone.. putting vibes and prayers out to our social worker Sheryl in Nashville and international coordinators Sara and Kim in Michigan for a healthy referral soon!!! 

** Correction! I found out this afternoon that Mondays, in fact, are NOT the only day for referrals.. I now know of people from our agency that received their referral on a Wednesday and another on a Thursday! So since it is nearly 3pm on a Monday, that is good news indeed!!! :)

Ribbon on the lake!

Grand Lake, Oklahoma.. Dad/Papa :)

Grand Lake, Oklahoma.. Mom/Gogi :) aka The Violet Ribbon Queen!! lol.

Grand Lake, Oklahoma.. Aunt Melissa :)  

Thanks to my amazing mom for her dedication and passion for The Violet Ribbon!! You are the best! And thank you to Aunt Melissa for sharing her birthday afternoon with Violet..
And to my Dad (let's be honest..) just for looking so cool at the wheel! ;)
oxoxo

Nursery Ribbon!

Violet's room is waiting patiently....

Old Hickory, Tennessee..

Old Hickory, Tennessee..

Old Hickory, Tennessee..

Well maybe "patiently" isn't quite accurate ;)

Wait!.. #2.. #1?!?!?!

Our Referral is getting closer by the hour! I can feel it..

We are #2 on the list for a girl 10-24 months..
BUT
We are #1 on the list for a girl under 10 months...


Wow.. wow.. and wow!

My heart is full and hesitant at the same time..
I don't want to get my hopes up for soon but it certainly appears to be soon.

Waiting to see her face.. Thankful for the gift of this moment..